Happy Holidays

Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. 

Lowell is so predictable.  How many times can I write about the same stories about the same douchebags?  This isn’t the Lowell Sun.  I don’t see the usefulness of pointing out the obvious for the sake of having a current post.  This blog isn’t about me.  It’s about what’s right.  There’s a lot wrong here… so now for my 2¢.

The recent elections prove that our city is tired of business as usual, but how much can this new council really make things change?  certainly the council’s decisions and process could become more transparent.  This would be a welcome change.  However, unless the new council does some firing and hiring there isn’t much that can happen.  Addition by subtraction?  Perhaps, but that’s not nearly enough.

I stand by my original thesis that Bernie Lynch is only marginally better than John Cox.  We got rid of one set of inbred troglodytes and traded them for a bunch of numb uninspired “professionals” with neither the aptitude nor creativity necessary to understand the difference between good and great.  In fact, Lowell’s version of great is mediocre at best.  This is the fundamental problem with the redevelopment of Lowell.  A lack of vision, an unwillingness to embrace new ideas, and the inability to distinguish between average and extraordinary. 

Some examples:

LZ Nunn and the marketing of Lowell: Alive. Unique. Inspiring.  Really?  Hiring a company like Single Source Marketing.  A total waste of time and money.  If you have to work so hard to come up with this crap, maybe you should step aside.  Ms. Congeniality.

Adam Baacke and The Hamilton Canal District: Boring, formulaic, uninspired, and a rouse.  Trinity Financial is a political juggernaut who has produced nothing of significance.  ICON architecture, is a regional big box walmart of architecture.  Jim Keefe is a talentless traveling doctor selling miracle tonics to commoners.  Promises of an expanded trolley line, and theater in the development will never be attained, just as he intended. Of course if the NPS wanted to pick up the tab and enhance the area, they would surely take a cut.  Adam Baacke: you’re the luckiest tool in the city.  You caught the wave at just the right time, riding it to mediocrity on the coattails of Keefe.  You’re about as potent as a Ken doll.

Bernie Lynch and the Early Garage: What are you doing?!  Take a good idea to redevelop an area and then totally disregard its intent or the consequences when leasing space to the RMV.  Gridlock.  Remember when the RMV was located downtown and why it moved out?  One step forward, two giant steps back.  Douche.  How do those hairy balls taste?

I’m getting of topic, but another great example of mediocrity are the inbred elitists of the Lowell Plan.  Hey, let’s get a bunch of rich people with no taste in a room together, close the door, and declare the plan for Lowell.  The best part is… THERE IS NO PLAN.  Snobby fucks.

Left in Lowell and Lynne.  Sometimes I feel so sorry for you.  Please don’t subject yourself to Sun articles about energy conservation.  You obviously know very little about the subject and who really gives fuck about what you think anyway?  The Sun has taken shot after shot at you, then you let them take bad pictures in your home.  Seriously.  Get off your self indulgent high horse.  What’s next?  Posts about your cat?

Anyway… this is all obvious.  How often do I have to point out the same shit repeating time and time again? 

I don’t see myself writing much for a while… if at all.  Maybe I’ll catch a plane with Kendall Wallace and go to Florida.  Perhaps some art projects instead.  Peace out.



11 comments on “Happy Holidays

  1. kad barma says:

    All good and valid points, perhaps, but it all leaves me with only the thought of Teddy Roosevelt’s words: “It’s not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the doer of deeds might have done them better. Instead the credit belongs to the man in the arena whose face is marred by sweat and blood and tears.”

    If and when you might come back, it might be interesting if you’d try to put something positive into the discussion–something of substance that you would need to stand behind, just as LZ is forced to bear the (absolutely deserved) brunt of the supreme idiocy that is “Alive. Unique. Inspiring”. (I STILL can’t believe we actually had to pay someone for that). I wonder how easy you might think it would be.

    I’ve indulged myself my moments of criticism over the past year(s), and I often contemplate how Rita isn’t completely wrong to get pissed that her trying to do something is sniped-at by others succeeding at doing nothing but talking about it. Again, don’t get me wrong, Rita’s part in subverting the democratic process here is unconscionable and indefensible, but until someone enters the process to oppose that sort of malfeasance, all the finger-pointing in the world is going to accomplish nothing.

    I vote.

    I patronize Lowell businesses.

    I opine.

    At some point, I realize I’m going to have to do more, if only to put my full efforts in support of someone who is putting themselves into that proverbial arena. For now, Bernie and the Milanazzo era is what we all have to work with. Marty Meehan seems to be *doing* things, and that’s worth talking about, too.

    Fully agreed that a clean house and a clean start in a lot of the Lowell bureaucracies would seem to be a good thing.

    Are you applying for the cultural job? I think it would be fun if you would.

  2. K-R-S says:

    the graphic in this post..a bit creepy…

  3. Prince Charming says:


  4. robberbaronhater says:

    Lowell Plan. It was Paul Tsongas’ dream for community involvement in improving the city. The original plan called for just about every entity in the city doing something that would benefit the entire city — often while also benefiting the private entity.

    Phase Two was devoted to improving public education in Haverhill.

    The name was co-opted for the Lowell Plan Inc. which became a funding mechanism for real estate barons, not what Tsongas had in mind when he lent his prestige as a U.S. senator to the idea that he and the obnoxious Tully came up with on a Speare House napkin.

  5. me says:

    Those comments about Lynne were right on the money. Ever notice her “ignorance is bliss” attitude when she knows she’s wrong? You got the last word in w/ her, as she will never comment HERE, but she reads it and she is pissed I’m sure!

  6. Mark says:

    Exactly why this site needs to stay open. It’s another venue to get things out there. Tough to do that when you get shouted down by the only game in town. So the Shallot can say whatever he/she wants and people can read it and decide for themselves.

  7. Ned says:

    Hamilton Canal District is a giant straggling duece. The enitire project should be celebrated with a 20 story dick…right in the middle….for state use of course.

  8. AnoNomNom says:

    Been silent here for a while but had to chip back (baacke, ha!) in.

    Lowell remains an All-Star collection of utter idiots. The saddest part is that they don’t recognize their idiocy. The only place regionally that can top Lowell is still Lawrence.

    LZ Nunn remains one of the most arrogant and insecure individuals I’ve ever met. Her entire demeanor is someone who is in so far over her head, that she hopes that no one will notice.

    Getting beyond the moronic tagline, everything about her campaign is prosaic, pedestrian, and dull. There’s nothing noteworthy or original that would even make someone want to come to Lowell in that campaign, let alone anything about the campaign that makes it worth covering.

    Single Source Marketing = total yawn.

    LZ Nunn = total hack.

    Word has it that they’re desperate to inject some new ideas into the campaign, but they’re strapped for cash. (How much did Single Idea Marketing cost them? 50K? 75K?)

    Look at it as the economic cost for the city. Had the campaign been executed properly, it would have returned a multiple of that value to the city.

    Don’t even get me started on the heritage tourism tie-ins.

    Or the Lowell Plan.

    The Lowell Plan was, in part, the idea of Larry Ansin. Look into that family. So-called green developer Bob Ansin is his brother or cousin or nephew or something. He did the big Monarch project in Lawrence, the one that imploded with millions of dollars of liens and lawsuits. From what I hear, that sort of behavior runs in their family. Word was, he wanted to do his next project in Lowell – despite being stuck with a halffinished construction site in beautiful riverside Lawrence. Right-o!.

    How about a Lowell/Lawrence comparison checklist? How many of the same cronies are involved in both places? I suspect we’d be surprised by the number of coincidences.

  9. moocorners says:

    Ahhh, Shallot, you’re due for a vacation, but, alas, methinks it’s because the city crowd is getting close to knowing who you are. That or the energy you put into your missives is too exhausting. Nonetheless, come back soon. All of you. Mooooooooooooo!

  10. me says:

    This is one long vacation! Come back, we miss your humor!

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